{"id":9366,"date":"2017-11-24T10:00:12","date_gmt":"2017-11-24T16:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/iowahighwayends.net\/blog\/?p=9366"},"modified":"2017-11-19T22:50:55","modified_gmt":"2017-11-20T04:50:55","slug":"a-brief-from-the-fashion-police","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/iowahighwayends.net\/blog\/2017\/11\/a-brief-from-the-fashion-police\/","title":{"rendered":"A brief from the Fashion Police"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>The blog graciously allocates some space for a public service. \u2014 Ed.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Attention shoppers,<\/p>\n<p>On this, the holiest day of American capitalism, we must alert you to a holey plague that has gone on for a year at least, with no signs of slowing down.<\/p>\n<p>Something needs to be done about the epidemic of holey pants. These atrocities often come under the guise of &#8220;distressed&#8221;, but take them for what they are: Signs of a lack of sense, or perhaps surrender. Remember grunge? How did that turn out for everyone?<\/p>\n<p>No one naturally <a href=\"https:\/\/ae01.alicdn.com\/kf\/HTB1XCY0QXXXXXbeXFXXq6xXFXXX9\/Mid-waist-jeans-woman-2017-fashion-sexy-simple-Wear-white-hole-Bare-knee-Tassels-Tight-beggar.jpg\">rips their jeans this way<\/a>. No one should voluntarily expose their knees and legs to potential damage <a href=\"https:\/\/i.pinimg.com\/736x\/b6\/5c\/e3\/b65ce3bbe19f87c932605d28b08d6de0--ripped-boyfriend-jeans-ripped-denim.jpg\">in this manner<\/a>. Is this how you want to be presented to your children and grandchildren years hence? They&#8217;re already making fun of us in the future!<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Ebs-JZeZALg\" frameborder=\"0\" gesture=\"media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Please, for your country&#8217;s future and your own, do not purchase intentionally damaged goods, especially in the mid-two-figures range or more. The perpetrators, foreign or domestic, must be brought to justice. With your help, we can end this blight.<\/p>\n<p>Then we&#8217;ll redirect our attention to the flat-billed caps and blouses with holes in the shoulders.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The blog graciously allocates some space for a public service. \u2014 Ed. Attention shoppers, On this, the holiest day of American capitalism, we must alert you to a holey plague that has gone on for a year at least, with &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/iowahighwayends.net\/blog\/2017\/11\/a-brief-from-the-fashion-police\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9366","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/iowahighwayends.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9366","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/iowahighwayends.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/iowahighwayends.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/iowahighwayends.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/iowahighwayends.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9366"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/iowahighwayends.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9366\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9372,"href":"http:\/\/iowahighwayends.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9366\/revisions\/9372"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/iowahighwayends.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9366"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/iowahighwayends.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9366"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/iowahighwayends.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9366"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}