The largest body of water in Grundy County is an artificial lake by Dike that’s less than 20 years old. (2014 USDA photo)
By now you may have seen the Washington Post’s clickable map of a USDA database called the “natural amenities index.”
The index combines “six measures of climate, topography, and water area that reflect environmental qualities most people prefer.” Those qualities, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, include mild, sunny winters, temperate summers, low humidity, topographic variation, and access to a body of water.
By these metrics, the entire state of Iowa is “below average,” with a giant swath of below-average essentially consuming the Northern Plains and old Northwest Territory. And there, sitting in the middle of the darker part of the swath, is Grundy County, ranked 3100th out of 3111. (Allamakee is the only Iowa county to crack the top 2000, at 1649. Tama is 2975.) Taking a closer look at those amenities:
- Mild, sunny winters — LOLno.
- Temperate summers and low humidity — LOLno, again.
- Topographic variation — (looks down, shuffles nervously)
- Access to body of water — see top.
The obvious defense is to say that it all depends on what you value. Grundy County objectively had THE most fertile soil in Iowa until a recent recalculation of the ratings dropped it to a close third. If you can’t understand the majesty of the “golden hour” evening sun spreading across a tranquil rural landscape, I can’t help you.
Of the 11 counties ranked worse than Grundy, most are clustered along/near the Red River of the North in North Dakota and Minnesota — residents of last-place Red Lake County mounted a spirited defense to the Post — and I passed through them in 2007. I guess that means I’m well acquainted with the worst areas of “natural amenities” of the country. I’ll still take them over the humid swamps of the South or arid expanses of the West. (But I admit my defense may be a bit less spirited when it’s 5 degrees with a blizzard raging outside.)
EDIT: Corrected name of Minnesota county, the same one the Post got an earful over. Sorry!