The blog graciously allocates some space for a public service. — Ed.
Attention shoppers,
On this, the holiest day of American capitalism, we must alert you to a holey plague that has gone on for a year at least, with no signs of slowing down.
Something needs to be done about the epidemic of holey pants. These atrocities often come under the guise of “distressed”, but take them for what they are: Signs of a lack of sense, or perhaps surrender. Remember grunge? How did that turn out for everyone?
No one naturally rips their jeans this way. No one should voluntarily expose their knees and legs to potential damage in this manner. Is this how you want to be presented to your children and grandchildren years hence? They’re already making fun of us in the future!
Please, for your country’s future and your own, do not purchase intentionally damaged goods, especially in the mid-two-figures range or more. The perpetrators, foreign or domestic, must be brought to justice. With your help, we can end this blight.
Then we’ll redirect our attention to the flat-billed caps and blouses with holes in the shoulders.