Matt Campbell is Tim Cook

The nicest response I can think of to Iowa State’s new outfits is “furious.” Matt Campbell’s disgust for the color gold (never worn as anything other than an accent in 2017) has reached its logical end with three solid-color options of white, red…and black.

IOWA STATE SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER EVER WEAR BLACK UNIFORMS. EVER.

Campbell has been talking about this for a while. If Nike’s behind the total purge of stripes and accents, why not just contract it out to the College of Design? Students there might actually know what our colors are and mix them accordingly.

Iowa State fans know about all-whites for two main reasons: The Texas Stormtroopers and Nebraska’s surrender uniforms. The assignment of the 2018 Texas football game to the Longhorn Network without a CyTV simulcast says which is the Empire and which should pray the deal isn’t altered further, don’t you think?

The Campbell era, in a way, reminds me of Tim Cook’s time at Apple. Cook put Jony Ive in charge of the user interface, bleeding it dry and eliminating important visual cues. Cook’s Apple has done everything it can to alienate Mac users to the point of making products with an inferior collection of ports and hardware that doesn’t work. (I think around 2012 he bumped into the wrong person who cursed him with, “Thinner.”)

But he’s making Apple a trillion-dollar company! But the Facetweetgramming youths are where it’s at!

But he beat Oklahoma! But he gets the ‘kroots, who are all about the Facetweetgramming! #HashtagsAreBrewing

To which…*deep sigh* Yeah. Winning works and gives you a lot of leeway. I clearly am not the target audience, for either Campbell or Cook. Those of us who want to hold close to certain things because of loyalty or have-you-seen-the-competition while being increasingly frustrated at the trendlines aren’t able to do anything but rant on the Internet about it.

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